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Anyone who knows me in real life will remember me as being a non-girly person.  Ever since I was a little kid I never really cared for make-up or pink stuff or... whatever.  I never played sports (and whenever I did I sucked), yet I loved mud and catching animals and wearing pants and shorts that were comfortable and not the latest fashion sensation; while I did play with Barbies as a little kid, I also played with Jurassic Park dinosaurs and watched Power Rangers.

As I approached those horrifying puberty years, I still didn't really care about external beauty.  I did experiment with skin-tight clothes for a few years, but overall I really didn't use make-up or put an extreme amount of effort into looking good; for many years I was completely focused on my interests in art, prehistoric life, and several other things.

I put "tomboy" in the title with quotation marks because to be brutally honest, I wasn't the stereotypical tomboy.  I wasn't good at sports at all, but I wasn't into girly things all that much.  In fact, I hated it back then.  I never bought pink things because I never liked the color pink, or anything associated with being a girl.

Those with similar pasts will probably identify with me.  We usually aren't into those things, and for a long time detested them because it was different and not the traditional you.  Yet, simultaneously, we envy it.  

C'mon, girls; you don't fool me.  I know some of you will keep on denying one little fact: you deep down want to feel beautiful.  It's practically instinct.  Argue with me or not, every girl out there wants to feel as though they are beautiful.  You may think you're beautiful on the inside, but on the outside you feel could use some work.  You say you don't care, but do you really?

Hear me out.  I'm already sounding like some stupid advertisement on TV

Idk if people remember September, but back then I was insecure about my body.  Once I worked to feel better about myself, I noticed a sudden change in my appearance, and that desire to change my appearance brought the "girl" out of me.

Nowadays I buy clothing that actually fits me, and not big baggy clothing that makes me look bigger than I actually am.  The reason is because whenever I put on those articles of clothing, I look in the mirror and see somebody that I can love more.  I already consider myself a very honest, passionate, generous person, and along with that I look and feel beautiful.  If you used to know me years ago and saw me now, you wouldn't know if we were the same person.  

Old habits die hard, though.  I still wear a few boy stuff when I don't feel like doing anything one day, but overall my tastes have changed in just one year.  I have a lot more confidence then I did when I wore all that baggy clothing.  I know that ironically enough I have clinical depression right now, but that's not because of the confidence of having outer beauty or anything as materialistic as that.  

What I'm trying to say to the majority of people here who have gone through (or are still going through) the same stages is that it's OKAY to want to put on something that makes you feel as though you're worth a second glance.  Seriously, try wearing something you wouldn't normally wear and see what happens.  Try not to worry about what people will think.  Just wear a nice pair of pants or a form-fitting tee and see what you look like.

Just writing this entry is proof that I am improving in my depression.  I've known this stuff all along, but didn't know how I could express it or believe it.  It's changed my life for the better.

NOW GO OUT AND FEEL BEAUTIFUL, DARLINGS.

No seriously.  Do it now or I'll hunt you down and spear you.
;D